In sexual harrasement, rape, and/or physical crime cases against women, the woman’s wardrobe and overall appearance is often brought up and used against them. This is called “blaming the victim” because she essentially entrapped the man into bad behavior.
Jenelle Marie defines the term “slut-shaming” in a courageous article she wrote for Yahoo! News about her experiences as a teenager being shunned and misunderstood because of the sexual perception her peers had of her. She eloquently describes the trickle down effect of being “shamed.” The shaming did not help to persuade her from having sex or being flirtatious. In fact, she contracted Herpes and was more sexually active than any other time before the shaming began.
In her early teens, Marie was a cheerleader dating a basketball player in high school and she decided to break up with him. But, because he did not want to break up with her, he and the rest of the basketball team decided to spread the rumor that she was a “slut” and put the word out that others should not bother with her. This was the beginning of low self-esteem, and detrimental mistakes resulting in poor sexual health.
Marie contracted Herpes and became more sexually active and flirtatious. The shame had begun to feed a negative void in her and she spiraled into behavior that could harm her mentally and physically. But that obviously became the point. Presently, Marie is the “founder of The STD Project, an award-winning website and progressive movement aimed at eradicating the stigma associated with contracting an STD and living with an STD by facilitating and encouraging awareness, education, and acceptance through storytelling and resource recommendations.”
Marie provides interesting information about the choices young women make based upon the act of “slut shaming” as well as the repercussions they experience after those decisions are made.
“And for anyone who’s not familiar with the term, “slut-shaming” is the act of declaring someone a slut (or a whore or any other similar word, or even promiscuous, for that matter) based upon perceived sexual behavior: the clothing someone wears, the way they communicate with potential partners, the people they date, the number of partners they have (or haven’t) had, and the type of sex they enjoy.
The impact is, generally speaking, an increase in STD transmission rates. Young adults who are slut-shamed become embarrassed about their sexual interests, stop communicating what they want and need, and lose the confidence to plan, negotiate, and navigate safer-sex practices.”
Simply said, the first indicator that someone is not ready for a sexual encounter is that they cannot ask the hard questions and they are not willing to answer their partner in return. They are not prepared to give a physical examination of the person they are willing to have sex with and are also not willing to ask him to wear a condom. Low self-esteem puts young women in a precarious position they cannot handle.
According to Marie, the shaming is a form of bullying that begins to control a young woman’s choices and emotional stability. The results are almost always detrimental to her well-being until someone can help her recover from this form of abuse.
Have you encountered “slut shaming” or have been a part of someone else’s campaign against a young woman? Let us know your experiences and if you feel Marie is on point with her story. Read it here.
-J.C. Brooks
Lyfe Jennings featuring LaLa Brown - S.E.X. by keyzz
